I stated in my previous blog post that I was not happy, thinking back to it, and this is going to sound very cliche, but I realized that there were other people who are in far more complicated situations than me right now.
I thought to myself, "Am I in the position to be complaining? when there are others who are fighting a disease? when there are others struggling through hunger and poverty each day just to survive?". I may not be happy, but I don't seem to have the right to be complaining about it. Although, I did just want to be able to express what I currently felt, it may not be so bad to let it out from time to time than to have it all bottled up.
I apologize for the gloomy posts, my lack of human interaction may be a huge factor to this, daily superficial conversations fail to fill me with the emotions that I require to properly function. lol
I hope you're doing well~

Stand up slowly.

I'm so tired, so, so tired.

I just want to keep my eyes closed and sleep for a long time, but when I do I start to think about all the dreams that will remain unrealized, so I won't give up on this life. I won't be a coward and face everyday with a smile.

Her breathing falters, she slips in and out of consciousness.
Is there no one who can wake her from this nightmare like reality?
She knows she cannot undo the scars engraved on her person,
they will forever remind her of the frail little girl she once was.
No longer will she follow blindly.

Oh, universe, help this world that has lost its way.


She wondered how it was so, how she could not think of any other, how it was so difficult for her to make amends with the past.

It was not always how it was, there used to be no thought of such things, but now it troubled her.
She could not understand why the thought has lingered for such a long time. She knew that what she wished for was impossible to attain, but if there was even the slimmest chance of it still coming true she held on to that.
There must be a reason why her mind and her heart refuse to open up for any other.
The universe knows she tries her best to move forward, but within the void of her subconscious something tells her not to let go.

Have you given any thought of your future? Have you settled with your past? To forgive yourself is not a selfish act as long as you change for the better.

You'll see, the story will unfold further.
Be patient.

You'll be alright.

One must understand, the harder the path you take, the more worth it the destination will be.

Right now, there are things I wish could have been different. I am thankful for what I have, but I am not happy. Although, I am sure, this is just a phase. To grow up in a supportive environment have always been something I long for, to be able to express your opinions, and your emotions, and not be critically criticized about being how you are. But we're all long past that, what we can do now, is to nurture ourselves, and make ourselves better people, than how we were once.
Everything will be alright.

Dream.Alive (letter to self)

Dream, you are still young, you've got your life ahead of you, you're alive.
The whole world is on the palm of your hands.
Take care what you do, and what you say.

Be kind, and be honest.

Everyone is beautiful.
Even the little things are important.
Let even the simplest of things make you smile.
Go where your feet take you.

Keep on walking, dreaming, living.

Just like in your dreams, you smile when you are awake.
No matter how rough reality is, live on till the end.

Old Soul.

There are people who seem to have gone through a lot of painful experiences, but produce such wonderful things.
Often times, they voice out all the good things you can find around our planet, the amazing people you'll meet, and the adventures you'll brave.

He wrote such soothing lyrics, you'd think he has lived for a long time.
The stoic expression on his face hides the hurt he's held in.
His life like a spinning wheel that has no end.
Staring up at the sky, he wonders when he can leave.
He tells his story through his songs that are hard to believe.
Letting go of the people he's grown close to was always the hardest.
Like a spinning wheel, his life keeps on turning, an endless cycle.

On this planet we live in, we've got to stand as one. Pull one another up, not down. Let's all be kind to each other.

Everyone's wishes

Don't expect every single person to do something extraordinary for you.
Don't expect them to be able to be by your side at a snap of your fingers.
Don't expect them to, and take it against them if they couldn't do what you expected.

I've learned, in our lives, that there are times when we will be alone to deal with our sadness, and pains.
Everyone is fighting their own battles. I do my best to get through those times when I feel like I'm drowning in sadness by myself. To expect someone to share the burden with me is quite natural I think. Of course, you'd want someone to be there to comfort you, but that can't always be the case.
If you don't tell anyone about what you're going through, don't expect them to comfort you just because you're sending out some melancholic vibes. With everything that is going on in people's lives, it's hard to keep track about every single detail. Don't plant seeds of resentment towards them.

Not everyone's wishes can be granted at the same time.

You'll get through this.
Come on, look at how far you've come~!


Today was not as productive as I expected it to be. I feel so down, maybe it's almost that time of the month? haha
I've been writing something up lately, it's a short story, but the plot is still messy, I do hope I get to finalize it soon.
What do you do to get yourself out of the slump you're in? I usually try to listen to music, but it isn't really helping right now. Somehow, I feel like this sadness is eating away at me. Oh, melancholia, leave me please! How was your day?

Thank you for being born in this world.

The Decline of Mankind.

"How much did we lose to live this way?"

I can't help but think, despite the technology surrounding us, that we've disregarded further learning. How the spoken language of the youth no longer makes sense to me, and I think the convenience of having devices do all the work for us, play a big part in our negligence for achieving greater understanding.

There was once a time when people did not have the technology we do now, but they had such refined manners, beautifully made clothing, meaningful conversations, and well thought of ideas.

We owe this planet more than we know, we should care for it, and know more about it.
Let's not stagnate our capacity to widen our horizons. I am a firm believer of sharing knowledge, I know there are those who would disagree, but it makes me happy to help others, it makes me feel elated.

"The fate of one, is the fate of all"

Let us live for a better tomorrow.
You might be living a difficult life, don't fret, there is a reason for your being.
We must not only think of ourselves, someday, love, we will be as one people, and it will be marvelous.

Stabbed by the blade of lies.

I usually know (feel) it when someone is lying to me, but I give them the benefit of the doubt, I think about the reason why they need to hide the facts from me.
I can take the truth, I prefer the truth, I may feel dejected at first once I find out about it, but I'd still appreciate it that you had faith in me to tell me the truth.

Bring a Friend Weekend!


This weekend, I dolled myself up, and met up with wonderful people!


My bestfriend KC and I agreed to meet up, and introduce our friends who we think are totally on the same wavelength as us!
Jeeka is KC's friend whom she met through a mutual friend, she wanted me to meet her since she thought that we would get a long, and we did! Jeeka is fun, and has a good sense of humor!

Ven, and I at the comfort room, camwhoring. Yes.

I told KC that she should meet Ven because she's moving away, and it's been years since I told her they should meet, and finally we agreed to all get together this weekend at the mall.
Ven and I got there early, around 11am, we had coffee, and talked about random things, that are not commonly talked about by others hahaha! (ex. scalping) Hello? would you bring that topic up? We would hahaha

comfort room yes 2
Jeek, Me, Ven, and KC.

Kc, and Jeeka arrived around 12:30nn and we hit it off right away! We talked endlessly, never running out of things to talk about, and the seldom silence just to rest ourselves from, well, TALKING! It was so much fun! We ate at Pepper Lunch, I never imagined that ordering food would've been so much fun hahaha! We were laughing, and joking amongst ourselves about the menu.

We went to Poetry & Prose cafe after for dessert.
This cafe was divine!

poetry and prose2

I had Beignet with chocolate dip! YUM!
I ordered a chocolate crepe, which I forgot to take a photo of before digging into it!
Their tea was delicious too! I'm used to having tea with honey, and milk, but theirs didn't need any of those!

We decided to head home around 5pm since it was getting dark, and KC slept at 4am that day! We all agreed to meet up again for a sleep over the week after the next, I'm so excited about it!
I'm so thankful to have found friends like them!

Ven, and I met up with her sister at Project Pie, and had dinner.
We went to a cafe called Green Bean afterwards to meet up with Ven's friend I gave them some privacy by plugging in my earphones and tuning out while reading "Just Kids" by Patti Smith, i'm totally in-love with this book right now!
This weekend was wonderful!

Step by Step

I've always been holed up in my little room, afraid of having to interact with other people, and of failing. Although, recently I've been thinking of starting over. It's true that whenever I go out on my own, my heart still feels like it's going to jump out and rob a bank or something, I'm very nervous, but somehow excited too. I'm hoping this step I've decided to take would help me grow. Someday, I hope I can fulfill one of my dreams, to become a writer, and write stories that would move people, stories that would make people want to move forward, and wake up to a brand new day.



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